Should Child support the Child are the parent???

On my way home this afternoon I was listening to the Michel Basden show and the topic today was "How much money does it take to raise a child and how much is too much?" Now I know that parenting is a very challenging job and it does cost money to properly raise a child, but a few of the res poses from the women that called in where just plain ignorant. One lady in particular stood out to me because she felt that besides providing a child the necessities for life like food, clothing, housing, and medical care, a parent paying support should also compensate the other parent for doing things like helping that child with their homework, taking them to their activities and appointments, and just the time that they spend with this child on a regular basis. It seems to me like having a child a decision that should have been well thought out before hand. Any parent that feels he or she needs compensation outside of the child support needed to provide that child with the necessities that he or she needs is just plan trifling! According to the stats that Michel put out there it cost around $280,000 to rise a child to the age of 18.He also brought out a stat that is never discussed; the fact that women on child support are much more likely to be delinquent with the child support payments then men. I believe that each parent should equally contribute to the raising of their child. It really upsets me to see parents use their children as meal tickets. And the real sad part is that the good parents that want to be there for the children both financially and physically are the ones who have to deal with the most BS. I am sure you know a guy that loves his son or daughter spends lot of time and money on them but his baby momma is trying to get more and more money from him every month. What about that woman that has a child and is getting only $30 or $40 dollars a month but only calls the baby’s daddy if the child absolutely needs something. I feel that if you have a child for the right reason (IE. you really want to be a parent) raising a child should be a joy. If you are no longer with your spouse you both should sit down and come up with a support plan that is in the best interest of your children and not for you own personal gain or pleasure. We need to stop being so spiteful and selfish and give your children the lives they deserve! I am sure this will get a few responses and I look forward to them even if you don't agree with me! I would love to hear you thoughts on this subject?

Times Have Changed But The Game Is Still the Same!!

It has been years since blacks were freed from slavery and since that time we as a people have made great progress. My question tonight is how free are we really? As I look at television, listen to music, or even walk the streets of downtown Atlanta it is plain to see that even though we are no longer on the plantation many of us are still enslaved. How could this be possible in 2009 you may ask and I am glad you did! Now I ask you to really think about what I am about to say and let me know if it’s just me that feels this way. On Television we have black reality shows like "Flavor of Love”, “I Love New York", and Other shows that make young black people look like uneducated, money hungry fools. Just recently show called the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" was supposed to give a depiction of the life styles of the wives of some of Atlanta's wealthy. (Before I talk about this show in particular I have to say that I did watch the show for the entire season just because I just had to see how far they were really trying to take this.) My Wife and I currently live in Atlanta and there are some of the wealthiest most positive blacks you ever want to meet here. So, why is it that these folks felt it necessary to cast only wives of sports players or mistresses of music producers? Your telling me the only black that have a little wealth only sing, rap, play sports, or produce music???? When you look at the others shows with the white cast the husbands aren’t sports figures or rappers.

Rap music.....I love it and I listen to it regularly, but the difference between me and May of the other listeners is that I know fact from fiction. Rap to me is entertainment but for many of our youth it is what they are being lead to believe real life is. I often wonder where our youth would be if rap was like it was about 10 or 15 years ago. Would the young guys want to be thugs, would they be wearing the pants past their knees, would the be calling all women b**ches and Hoes, would they be man enough to throw their hands instead of picking up a gun, or would they still prefer a jail cell to a dorm room? The powers that be always have a way of taking something that could possible empower us, turn it around and use that same thing to keep control of us. Let me explain. When I was young I remember guys like LL cool Jay, Kool Moe Dee, Slick Rick, and many other rapping about life in the black community but it always had some kind of message that wasn’t hard to decipher. As hip hop culture grew the whites that owned these large record companies saw that this wasn’t going away and it had the ear of a generation. So they did what they knew would keep them on top. They signed rappers and told them that if they want to sell record they would have to talk about drugs, sex, and pimpin because that’s what sells records. They find young men and woman from the hood with nothing and turn them into stars over night just to continue to push their agenda of keeping our people sucking and jiving while they continue to make the important decisions that affect our lives every day! We must wake up and really see what’s happening.
I try every day to carry myself in a way that sends positive message about you black men and there are many young black men and women that do the same. Unfortunately, those are not the images of us that sell records are get ratings on television.

Regular Black Man!

Blacks vs Niggas: We have a president on the black team now but will it help?

AS I drove home from class this evening my mind ran across a joke from one of my favorite comedians Chris Rock. Chris said that there is a war that has been going on in our communities for centuries. That’s right, the war between Black people and niggers. Now as I thought about this historic day I could not help but worry about the niggas that are going to act a fool tomorrow because there is a man of color in the white house. Before I go any further I should explain the difference between the two sides. I will start with the Blacks. Blacks are a proud people and feel that today not only has a fellow black man taken the oath of the highest office in the free world, he has opened up opportunities for other black people. Know this black people will go to their jobs tomorrow and work harder than they ever have before. Why? Because black folks know that every white person at your job is waiting for you to screw up so they can get that ass out of there. Black are also going to set their kids down and explain to them that even though our new president is black there will still be nothing handed to you. Tomorrow blacks and their families will go on living life as usually with a great sense of pride and purpose!

Mean while on the other side of town niggas( not all of whom are of African American descent) have been get high and drunk all day in celebration of the new president. Some of these folks can’t wait to get to work in the morning so they can cuss out the first white person or republican they see. They are planning to walk into the big boss’s office and demand a raise! (Who cares that I have been working here for 2 weeks!)They gonna go to their kids schools and demand that their kids get all A's from here on out because they are changing pookies name to Obama Hussein Brown.

Ok maybe it wont be that bad, but you better believe their will be some niggas out there acting up. So to all my black folks out their please lets show these folks that we can take a win gracefully. But remember if you work hard and you don’t get that job you are over qualified for or that raise that you had coming. Just let those people know Obama is your cousin and see if you don’t get results...lol

Regular Black Man!

Obama's Big Day!

Today I am writing the post with a great deal of pride. Today on the 20th day of January, at 12:00 noon, in front of millions of people of all races, History was made. The first black president of the United States of America took office. On this historic and emotional occasion I feel that we as black Americans have come so far, but at the same time I am aware of long road ahead that must be traveled for us to be truly free. So, what does this election really mean to regular folks like me and you? Will we go to work tomorrow and be promoted the CEO of our companies? IS there a refutation checks being mailed out too each of us? Will all of the people who have tried to slow the progress of our people decide to give us a break? The answers to all if these question are "Hell No”. So what are we so happy about many may ask? I will tell you what I think. I am happy because of what Obama's win symbolizes to my generation. President Obama has broken the glass ceiling that has covered many black folks for as long as they can remember. Now does that mean just because your president is black that you are entitled to anymore that you have been in the past? My answer to that is "Hell No!" too. If anything, the pressure is on for all of use to work harder, be more creative, and continue to prove to the world how wrong many of them have been about us.As you all know pressure is not anything new to us. I do hope this will put a few excuses to bed for many of our black brothers and sisters. The one I have always hated was the whole "White man keeping me down" thing. Please understand that I realize that the playing field is not always level, but at the same time this victory has shown us that no man can keep any man down that refuses to stay there! I would like to leave you all with this quote from Abraham Lincoln "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."

Regular Black Man!

Welcome to the Thoughts of a Regular Black Man!

Let me first start of by explaining the name and purpose of this blog. We live in a country that tends to basis its whole identity and worth based on the options of few. By that I mean the way we dress, the cars we drive, the homes we live in, the music we listen to, and even our definition of success is based on the lives of a small group of “opinion leaders" as they are called. I decided to name this blog "Thoughts of a regular Black man" simply because that is what I am. So, the questions arises next is who is this Regular black man? Well, let me give you a glimse into who I am. I was born in a lower middle class community and was raised by both parents. I attended small public schools from elementary to High school and then I went on to college as many of us did. After my freshman year however I decided to leave college and join the Air Force Reserves so that I would be able to pay my own way through school. Why? You ask. You see I was the oldest of my siblings and the first one of us in the house to leave for college. I was raise to believe that you could have anything you wanted in life if y you work for it. My parents where both hard working individuals and I really felt that if I wanted a college education I should pay my own way. This would make it easier for my parents to save up for my sister who was a few years behind me. My experience in the Air Force along with the strong foundation of pride and respect for myself and others made me look at the world through a different set of lenses that many people haven’t been blessed with. So, the purpose of the Blog is to simply express how I feel about different issues facing black men and women like myself. As readers of this blog I must warn you that my beliefs and ideas may be different from yours. I do ask that you keep an open mind as you read them and try to understand where I am coming from. I believe that everyone’s opinon is valid even if they or not the same as mine. As we begin to share ideas and thoughts I look forward to you reactions as well as your view on any topics that may be brought to the table.
Life as a regular black man isn’t always as simple as we would like it to be, but that is the beauty of it! I do feel that many regular guys don’t really get the respect that they deserve. Why? Well some don’t demand it and other just feel that if they don’t have certain material positions they don’t count in the big scheme of things. In this blog I have elected myself to bring to light issues that we have talked about amongst each other for years. Everything from dating, work issues, relationships, family, and any other subject that comes to my mind is what we will discuss here. Ladies may be you will learn through this platform that there is allot more good men out there than you think. You just have to know what you looking for. Guy’s maybe you will learn more about who you are and decide that you shouldn’t have to settle for anything less than what you want out of life. So on this great day in history I will begin sharing thoughts of a regular black man.